The End to My Hot Girl Summer
I FORMALLY RESIGNED FROM HOT GIRL SUMMER.
It was a tough decision, but I had to do it. Let me start by defining what hot girl summer was to me:
I just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking for anything of the sort, so that's that.
Second, I was feeling myself. I'm creeping up on 30, and my hormones are learning themselves too, lol.
Lastly, I moved to Atlanta. Not Denver, not Houston, not LA, but Atlanta. That is a hot ANYTHING city, and maybe not the best place to move to in the mindset that I had.
All in all, hot girl summer was about having a good fucking time by any means necessary. It was about showing no vulnerability, being fearless, and moving to the drum of my own beat. (Especially a trap beat)
I HAD TO SLOW DOWN.
I knew for the most part that I was hiding my pain with a good time. I went out literally every night, addicted to new people, new settings, and new vibes. I was at a different restaurant every night, a nightclub, party, lounge, or just LIT. I would be out everywhere in Atlanta, and anytime I came home to Dallas, it was even worse. Even though I've learned SO much by networking and consistently speaking with others, I knew I was a whirlwind.
Now again, this is a transparent blog, where I truly don't like to sugarcoat my experiences. With that said, I used 'free spirit' as a label or excuse to hoe around and test limits. I was a slave to a good time, to where I wasn't even worried about real boundaries.
3 THINGS I LEARNED DURING HOT GIRL SUMMER
ONE. SELF HATE + TOXICITY CAN LOOK LIT TOO.
I took about 100 selfies everyday after slaying my make-up, and not one of them will show you the self hate I had for myself. Being out amongst others and a lively environment were like drugs to me. It helped me keep my mind off of reality and the self reflection that was needed to heal. It wasn't until my body finally caved in from all of the partying, alcohol, and adderall, was I able to sit down with myself and see what was really going on.
It doesn't matter what it looks like, all that matters is what is. If you aren't aware of the toxic behavior within yourself, be strong enough to acknowledge it and work towards recovery.
TWO. THAT SHIT WILL ALWAYS BE THERE.
I have a million ways to prove that the fun/club/partying shit will always be there, but I know we all know that. What WON'T be there, is the time you can take now to separate yourself, learn discipline, and build to put yourself into a better position.
I came back to Dallas with my head down and focused on rebuilding my business. I was doing GREAT with developing new habits and progression.
I took one Sunday Funday off, and decided to hit the town. It was the same niggas, same females. The same energy. The same cycle of music. The same high ass prices of drinks. All the same shit, and I felt the same mentality that I just put in my past try to creep back in.
THREE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM TO STOP BULLSHITTING.
It's the same as procrastination. I know I need to be doing something, or I know I need to stop doing something to reach a goal; yet, I wait until the last minute, or until I hit rock bottom.
Change the narrative. You regain control when you can stop yourself in the midst of the ignorance. Even though, it's really not ignorance, because you intuitively know what you're doing.
Sometimes, you won't always have grace when bouncing back from rock bottom.
ALL IN ALL:
I can say I finally learned to stop myself from completely hitting rock bottom and it is more rewarding than I ever knew. I've gained a deeper appreciation for myself. I know that self love is discipline, and hot girl summer had to come to an end.
BUT NEXT HOT GIRL SUMMER..
I'm going to define it differently. Meg the Stallion took hot girl and defined it with power - as strong as her fucking knees. I'm doing the same with defining who I am, but knowing where I want to go too.
ending statement: Shake back from your hoe phase, and keep that same fearless, driven energy towards the highest level of yourself.
I am you, I am me.